I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
