We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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