'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
