I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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