I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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