he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
