I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
