He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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