Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
