No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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