i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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