You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
