Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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