I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
