My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
