Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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