Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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