i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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