That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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