In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Welp...herpes.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize