I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
