whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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