We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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