My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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