no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
