I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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