as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
