i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
