physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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