Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
