im drinking this country out of the recession.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
