Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
