last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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