you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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