craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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