I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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