So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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