They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
