remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This couple is walking their pig around campus
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
