There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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