Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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