I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
