Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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