Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
