So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
