I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize