addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
