You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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