I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
