ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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