Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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