My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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