I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
