Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
