6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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