She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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