she kept yelling 'call me bella'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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