The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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