he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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