So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize