Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
