Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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