okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
