dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize