ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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