Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
